we move lightly
by bravevulnerability
Summary: 'Kate surges forward, not taking but offering her mouth to him, offering him everything. But he denies her.' AU to 4x23, Always.


**A/N:** Inspired by this prompt sent to me on tumblr:

_AU Always Prompt. Castle turns Beckett away at the door. She has to try and earn back his trust and convince him to give her another chance. Preferably he doesn't forgive for a while._

* * *

When he answers the door, stares her down and asks her what she wants, she doesn't hesitate in telling him, and then proceeding to show him, with her mouth, with whispered words. But Castle tugs her back after she captures his mouth for a second time, the cracking restraint causing his face to harden, but his eyes yearn for her, dark and craving.

"What happened?"

"He got away and I didn't care," she confesses, her lips turning upwards for a brief moment. "I almost died and all I could think about was you. I just want you."

Kate surges forward, not taking but offering her mouth to him, offering him everything.

But he denies her.

"Kate," he murmurs, and at least there is that, at least it's no longer the harsh bite of her surname from his lips. Castle cradles her skull in one of his hands as she glances up to him, swallowing hard against the rejection she can feel climbing up her throat and threatening to sting her eyes. "I just - I can't. Not yet."

It hurts, to have her courage, her craving for him, for their beginning, crushed, but she nods her acceptance.

"Just give me some time," he sighs, dropping his forehead to rest against hers and it still stings, but he's not saying no and as long as she still has a chance, she can wait for him. He waited for her without complaint and he's damn well worth the same effort from her.

"Okay," she whispers, stroking her fingers at his jaw, memorizing the feel of his skin, of the gentle stubble peppering his flesh. "Okay, just - you'll call?"

He nods and unlike her, she knows he will live up to the words.

"You don't have to go," he says quickly when she lifts her head, prepared to back away. "The storm, and you're - you must be in pain," he reminds her, but she only offers him a soft smile in return.

"Castle, I love you," she admits, her mouth splitting with the freedom those words bring, with the way his face goes slack in shock and awe. "And if I stay here any longer, I won't be able to give you the time you need. So just know that I've made my choice," she murmurs, smoothing her fingers at the collar of his shirt. "And that I'm willing to wait however long it takes."

Surprise continues to line his eyes, seeping into the azure irises, turning them a sea of hopeful cerulean, and she drifts forward once more, presses the tenderest of kisses to his lips, a seal to a promise, before she backs away. His eyes remain on her as she heads back down the hallway, back into the elevator, and back into the storm.

* * *

A week into her new, jobless life and she's going stir crazy. She hasn't heard from Castle, but she refuses to push and contact him when only he can make the next move. Besides, he gave her three months, she can give him more than a mere week.

Instead, she channels her energy into going on long runs to clear her head, into reading through that pile of books she never got around to, into watching the John Woo movie they were supposed to view together once upon a time.

Kate sighs and curls into the corner of her couch with her favorite afghan wrapped around her body, her laptop open and playing the movie from her coffee table. She watches without seeing, hoping maybe the white noise will lull her into a brief sleep. The nightmares aren't so bad during the day, even the evenings. It's in the dead of night when she's all alone in her bed that they creep up on her, choke her with terror and grief.

Her eyes have just slipped shut when there's quick rapping at her door. She grunts in irritation and pushes up from the couch. She had ordered food a few minutes ago from her favorite Chinese place, but there's no way they've become _that_ swift in delivering her order.

Kate scrapes her hair back from her face and grabs a couple of bills from her wallet, just in case, but when she eases the door open, it's not the delivery boy on the other side.

"Castle," she breathes, a little too excited, a little too pathetic, but she had secretly been afraid he would give up on her and never call, never show up again, but here he was, standing in her doorway with a nervous smile on his face.

"Kate, hi," he grins and her cheeks ache with the returning smile that pushes her lips upwards. "Mind if I come in?"

She mentally kicks herself and takes a step back, allowing him inside and shutting the door after him.

"How are you?"

"Fine," he shrugs, strolling towards her living room, towards the movie still playing on her laptop. "Thought we were marathoning John Woo together, Beckett."

He quirks an eyebrow at her over his shoulder and she bites her lip. It's tentative, a bit awkward, but the essence of who they are is still buried beneath the subtle rift she has caused.

"I couldn't help myself," she teases, moving around him to plop back on the couch, meeting his eyes with invitation in hers.

Delight fills her stomach like butterflies when he takes a seat next to her.

"I thought it might be a while before we watched a movie together," she adds, chewing on the inside of her cheek and keeping her eyes on one of the buttons of his shirt. He's wearing her favorite, the dark blue button down that makes his eyes shine like sapphires.

"I thought it might be a while too," he confesses with a nod, settling back against the cushioning of her couch. "But I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away from you, not for long."

Her heart soars with hope, with anticipation, but she tries to push it down, to smother it, knowing he has more to say.

"I'm surprised you're not working actually. It's only six," he comments like an afterthought, curiosity creasing his brow and she has to clench her fist to keep from reaching out, smoothing the wrinkle from his face.

But oh… oh, she forgot to tell him about the whole quitting her job thing, didn't she?

"I probably won't be working late for a while, Castle," she hedges, shifting on the couch beside him and he notices.

"What does that mean?" he pushes, narrowing his gaze on her.

Kate takes a deep breath, but holds the blue pools resting upon her.

"I quit my job."

His jaw actually drops.

"You did... you did it that exact same day, didn't you?"

She nods, not exactly ashamed, but feeling the telltale flare of uncertainty come alive in her stomach. What if Kate alone, without Detective Beckett attached, is not enough for him? Could she still inspire him without her badge? Still evoke that fascinated gleam in his eye outside of the precinct?

"Why?"

It's a simple question, no judgment tainting his tone.

"I - I don't know if this is a permanent decision, but so much of what I did was driven by the need to find my mother's killer. I'm done with that now," she murmurs, swallowing around the lump that attempts to form in her throat. "So I gave up everything that could lead me back to it."

"Kate," he says her name on a sigh while he hesitantly stretches a hand towards her, slipping it over her knee, and her heart jumps in excitement. But it's just a gesture of friendly support, she can't assume anything more. Not yet. "Just - no matter what you decide, I'll still stand with you."

Her eyes flicker up from his hand - how did they even get there? - to search his face, chest swelling at the sincerity she finds there.

"Whether you go back to being a detective or decide that you want to do something else instead, I'm here."

"You are?" she whispers, because she can still see the cobalt traces of anger that linger rightfully in his eyes, but the way he looks at her… she can see his love for her shining prominent and pure like it once did. She thinks it may even be more apparent now as he sits beside her in the dim lighting of her living room, his hand still curved over the bone of her knee.

He retracts the hand from her patella, sure of himself as he lifts it to the line of her jaw, the warmth of his palm spreading heat through the cool flesh. Reassurance is delivered in the form of a kiss, his lips so soft and shy on hers, and he hasn't completely forgiven her, no, but she yearns to earn his forgiveness. To repent at the altar of his body, to spread apologies upon his skin with the press of her mouth. But she allows him to lead in this gentle kiss they share, his lips brushing over hers in maddening sweeps until he pulls away, much to her displeasure.

"This is real, Kate," he says, his voice stern but tight with the strain of restraint. Not a game, not a fling, it's-"

"Everything," she supplies quietly, watching as his eyes flutter open to return to her, alight with the same simmering hope she feels in the pit of her stomach.

"I can't - I can't lose you. Not again. I can't watch you throw your life away, I won't-"

"Castle," she murmurs, reaching out to slip her hand into his, relishing in the heat of his palm as it engulfs hers. "I told you I made a choice. That choice was you."

For the first time in too long, she watches as the smile crawls across his lips, stretching up his cheeks to meet his eyes.

"And we don't have to rush," she reasons, just to set his mind at ease. No more subtext, she wants pure clarity in every conversation from here on out. "We can take this slow," she murmurs while she curls into his side, humming in content when his arm wraps around her shoulders, hugging her to his chest. "Whatever you want to do."

"What do you want to do?" he questions, soft and curious as his fingers dance over her t-shirt covered spine.

"Just you," she shrugs and he gasps, causing her eyes to widen as she realizes what she's just said.

Her faces goes hot and she hides it in his chest, feeling more than hearing the surprised laugh that rumbles past his lips.

"You want to do me?" he chuckles, teasing her, and it feels so good, so good to be back to a semblance of how they used to be, of it feeling easy again.

"I do," she murmurs, lifting her head to catch his raised eyebrows and smirking mouth. "I didn't think it was a secret."

"Definitely isn't now," he huffs, dipping forward to kiss her.

She doesn't want to ruin it, this tentative, newly repaired and budding thing between them, but his lips work over hers with reverence and need, seeking response, and she can't help but answer to him.

Castle moans at the nip of her teeth, the stroke of her tongue that glides past the barrier of his lips without trouble, and urges her forward, into his lap.

The movie plays on, forgotten as his hands slide beneath the thin fabric of her shirt, under the back of her bra, eliciting a uncontrolled jerk of her hips that has them both gasping.

"Can we - is it too soon for you to take me to bed?" she pants, trapping the first button of his shirt between two of her fingers.

Castle shakes his head and squeezes her backside just before he rises from the couch with her legs around his waist, not even needing her direction to find her bedroom while she devotes her mouth to the sensitive skin beneath his jaw.

They collapse upon the bed in a tangled mess of limbs, desperate and needy, but he doesn't rush them. He takes his time undressing her, marveling at every newly revealed piece of her body while she can't resist doing the same.

He whispers his love for her, free and true and finally, and she finds it easy to return the words with her mouth, with the work of her body beneath his. Loving him is easier than she ever could have imagined.


End file.
